Relationships After Baby
Individual support for changes in intimacy, communication, resentment, division of labor, parenting differences, and feeling more like roommates than partners.
Before kids, maybe you had long conversations, spontaneous plans, and time that was just the two of you. Now your exchanges are mostly logistics: who's doing bedtime, who forgot the diapers, whose turn it is to sleep in. You might feel more like coworkers, or roommates, than partners.
Almost every couple feels the strain after having a baby. It doesn't mean your relationship is failing. But it can feel lonely, especially when you're not sure how to talk about it, or when your partner isn't ready for couples therapy.
Feeling disconnected after a baby does not mean your relationship is broken.
What you might be noticing
- Arguing more, or avoiding conversations to keep the peace
- Resentment about who does what at home
- Feeling unseen, unappreciated, or alone in the relationship
- Changes in intimacy and physical connection, and uncertainty about how to talk about it
- Different ideas about parenting, work, or family roles
- Missing the connection you used to have
How therapy helps
Individual therapy gives you space to understand your side of the relationship: what you need, what you're feeling, and what you want to change. Together, we work to:
- Make sense of the resentment, distance, or conflict you're feeling
- Get clear on your needs, and find ways to express them
- Communicate in ways that are more likely to be heard
- Navigate changes in intimacy with honesty and without shame
- Decide what you want next, including whether couples therapy might help
How we work together
Our work is often informed by Internal Family Systems (IFS), helping you understand the different parts of you showing up in the relationship: the part that's hurt, the part that's keeping score, the part that just wants to feel close again. We also draw on the Gottman Method, a well-researched approach to understanding what helps relationships thrive.
If you'd like to work on things together, see our Couples Therapy page.
If you don't feel safe in your relationship, support is available 24/7 through the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
You may also find helpful
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Couples Therapy: Pregnancy, Parenthood & Beyond
Therapy for couples navigating fertility, pregnancy, loss, postpartum life, intimacy, communication, conflict, parenting, and reconnecting after becoming parents.
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The Mental Load & Mom Burnout
Support when you're carrying everyone's schedules, needs, emotions, and responsibilities, and feel like there's nothing left for you.
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Postpartum Anxiety & Depression
Support when motherhood doesn't feel the way you expected, including sadness, anxiety, irritability, overwhelm, guilt, numbness, or feeling unlike yourself.