Therapy for Scary or Intrusive Thoughts
Help for unwanted thoughts, checking, reassurance-seeking, fears about your baby's safety, and postpartum OCD, without judgment.
Maybe it's an image that flashes through your mind while you're carrying your baby down the stairs. Maybe it's a thought so upsetting you'd never say it out loud: What if I dropped her? What if I hurt him? Maybe you've started avoiding bath time, checking the monitor again and again, or asking your partner to handle things you're suddenly afraid to do.
If this sounds familiar, please hear this first: having these thoughts doesn't mean you want them to happen, and it doesn't make you a bad mother. The fact that they horrify you is exactly the point. They go against everything you want for your child.
Scary thoughts don't make you a bad mother. Often, they come from how much you care.
You're far from the only one
Unwanted, intrusive thoughts are incredibly common after having a baby. Most new parents experience them at some point. Your brain is working overtime to protect this tiny person, and sometimes that protective alarm fires off in frightening ways.
For some moms, the thoughts come and go. For others, they get stuck on a loop, bringing intense anxiety and urges to check, avoid, or seek reassurance just to feel okay. When that cycle starts to take over, it may be postpartum OCD, and it's very treatable.
Signs the thoughts might be getting stuck
- Upsetting thoughts or images that keep coming back, even when you try to push them away
- Checking on your baby over and over, or checking locks, stoves, or car seats repeatedly
- Avoiding certain tasks, places, or being alone with your baby
- Needing reassurance from others, or searching online, to calm the fear
- Mental rituals like counting, praying, or "undoing" a thought
- Feeling ashamed, or afraid to tell anyone what's going on in your head
How therapy helps
Many moms carry these thoughts in silence because they're afraid of what someone might think. In our sessions, you can say them out loud and be met with understanding, not alarm. Just that can bring enormous relief.
Our work is often informed by Internal Family Systems (IFS), helping you understand the protective, frightened parts of you that are working so hard to keep your baby safe. For intrusive thoughts and postpartum OCD, we also use Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP).
Intrusive thoughts are different from postpartum psychosis
Intrusive thoughts feel unwanted and distressing, and you know they don't reflect who you are. Postpartum psychosis is different, and it's rare. It can involve confusion, seeing or hearing things others don't, strong beliefs that don't match reality, not being able to recognize that thoughts are unusual, or going days without sleep. It usually appears in the first weeks after birth and is a medical emergency. With fast treatment, recovery is expected.
If you notice these signs in yourself or someone you love, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room right away.
When to get help right away
If you're having thoughts of harming yourself or your baby that feel like something you might act on, or any signs of postpartum psychosis, please seek help now. Call or text 988, call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-943-5746 (24/7), call 911, or go to your nearest emergency room.
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